Supporting Behaviour that Challenges

1. Introduction

Children Always First is committed to a holistic approach that draws on established theoretical bases, research, best practice and guidance in order to understand, regulate and support behaviour.  Supporting emotional regulation alongside “Connection with correction” forms an essential part of our approach in supporting children, young people, foster carers and staff to experience safe, protected and resilient therapeutic care. Connection with correction means that we will always strive to emotionally connect with the children through an attitude of PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy), maintaining this connection through times when boundaries have to be applied and discipline is needed. This helps children to feel safe and to build security even at those times when they are vulnerable to feeling not good enough and to fears of abandonment. There is an acknowledgment and commitment that our foster carers will be supported to manage what can be very difficult behaviour.

This chapter provides guidance for carers on managing behaviour, which includes supporting positive behaviour, de-escalation of conflicts and discipline.

Children learn how to behave by watching, listening and talking to the adults who care for them. Children develop their morals and values from what they observe of how adults treat others.

Children need clear boundaries and consistent rules. You should have high aspirations of a child/young person placed with you and be clear about what is acceptable and not.

You are expected to understand, manage and deal with children and young people’s behaviour including encouraging children to take responsibility for their behaviour and helping them to learn how to resolve conflict.

It is important that you as the foster carer follow a multi-disciplinary approach to understanding and in supporting children and young people. As a foster carer you cannot and should not be expected to manage behaviour that challenges in isolation in the absence of guidance and a shared understanding and agreement with regards to the strategies of support available.

Children Always First should gain and share a robust assessment of need that determines the approach to be taken and that the placement should be a good match with you and your family. The referral information, Placement Plan and reviews are central to the ongoing planning and evaluation of the support in relation to behaviour. Children Always First should ensure that, in relation to any child placed or to be placed with you as a foster carer, you are given such information, which is kept up to date, as to enable you to provide appropriate care for the child, and in particular you should be provided with a copy of the most recent version of the child's care plan. You should have all the necessary information available to Children Always First about a child's circumstances, including any significant recent events, to help you understand and predict the child's needs and behaviours and support the child within your household. Children Always First should follow up with the responsible authority where all such necessary information has not been provided by the authority.

When your foster child is new to your home they will not know or understand your rules unless you explain them. You will need to be mindful of the child’s background and early life experiences when setting boundaries and expectations. The safer caring plan should be in place which the child should be aware of.

It is important that the child is treated consistently by everyone who is dealing with them, particularly when there are two carers.

As the foster carer your role is to:

• Aim to create a safe, caring environment;
• Ensure that all children have opportunities to become confident and achieve their full potential;
• Encourage the child's consultation and participation in setting rules and consequences;
• Ensure that all children and young people live in homes where they have clear expectations in relation to their behaviour, are supported to understand and to develop alternative positive approaches to challenges within their lives;
• Ensure that all children and young people understand how positive behaviour is recognised and rewarded;
• Ensure that all children and young people are supported to understand the consequences of negative behaviour;
• Ensure that you understand and share the principles of positive approaches to behaviour;
• Accept the individuality of children and young people and celebrate the diversity of their backgrounds.

2. Helping the Child/Young Person to Settle in

Since your foster child is new to your home they will not know or understand your values, beliefs, routines and rituals consistent with the ethos of Children Always First. Helping your child to understand these provides them with a sense of safety and belonging.

3. Supporting Behaviour that Challenges

A child/young person placed with you may be feeling very vulnerable and may 'act out' their feelings. You play an important part in the day-to-day life of a child, therefore good parenting, supported by training on behaviour management techniques and strategies, will enable you to achieve and develop a more positive relationship with the child and a more harmonious life and will enable the child to feel good about themselves.

Positive behaviour support is about everyone playing their part in the child’s care and support and it should be a multi-disciplinary approach.

Things that need to be in place to support a positive behaviour approach:

You should provide an environment and culture that promotes, models and supports positive behaviour. The culture of the household, generated by you as the foster carer, is crucial. You should have high expectations of all of the foster children in your household.

Children must be enabled to build trusted and secure relationships with you and your family, who know them well, listen to them, spend time with them, protect them and promote their welfare. Children must be enabled to develop an appropriate sense of permanence and belonging and be fully included in your family life.

The care and help from you assists children and young people placed with you to develop a positive self-view and to increase their ability to form and sustain attachments and build emotional resilience and a sense of their own identity. This care and help also help them to overcome any previous experiences of neglect and trauma.

You will be, and should feel, well prepared and supported by Children Always First to manage the behaviour of children and young people placed with you and situations arising from and leading to this behaviour.

You are expected to understand, manage and deal with children's behaviour including encouraging them to take responsibility for their behaviour and helping them to learn how to resolve conflict. You should have positive strategies for effectively supporting children where they encounter discrimination or bullying wherever this occurs, such as discussing the issue, counteracting the negativity and how to manage it, whether to involve others and when.

Children should be supported to develop and practice skills to build and maintain positive relationships, be assertive and to resolve conflicts positively. Children are encouraged to take responsibility for their behaviour in a way that is appropriate to their age and abilities. You should respect the child's privacy and confidentiality, in a manner that is consistent with good parenting.

You should receive training in positive care and control of children, including training in de-escalating problems and disputes.

You will have clear, consistent and fair boundaries, to enable children to feel safe, encouraged and appropriately rewarded, to help ensure that they will thrive and do well and to contribute to a feeling of well-being and security for children.

As a foster carer you should think about the following in your practice:

• Listen to and empathise with children, respect their thoughts and feelings and take their wishes into consideration;
• Look for things that are going well, or any step in the right direction, and appropriately reward it;
• Use rewards in a creative and diverse way, specific to children's needs, capabilities and interests. This may mean that children are rewarded with activities or rewards that they enjoy. But all 'tangible' rewards should be accompanied by use of 'non tangible' encouragement and support – by you demonstrating to children that they have done well. Such 'non tangible' rewards include smiling and praising children;
• Make sure that children and young people are aware of the things that they have done well. This should involve prompt verbal feedback, along with clear recording in the child or young person’s file. All ‘tangible’ rewards should be clearly identified.

Children usually benefit, early on, from rewards which may appear to outweigh that which is expected. This is normal; over time rewards can be more relevant as children's self-esteem and skills improve.

For example:

• Children who have few social or life skills and whose self-esteem and confidence is low may require forms of encouragement and reward which are intensive, frequent or even excessive in order to help/remind them that they are doing well and appreciated;
• A child who has previously been unable to get up for school may be offered an incentive for getting up on time for a few days.

Over time, as children achieve what is expected, such rewards should be reduced or children should be expected to achieve more for the same or a similar reward.

The PACE model can help you work successfully with a child.

PACE stands for:

(Sometimes 'L' for Love is included, making PLACE).

Behaviour that challenges in children can occur for a number of reasons, for example:

• As a way of expressing emotions;
• As a result of developmental delays or learning disability;
• As a result of attachment/relationship difficulties with staff/carers;
• Learned behaviours in which challenging responses have become habit in the face of frustration or anxiety;
• Overwhelming emotions that lead to dysregulation.

It is helpful if you can understand the causes of the child's behaviour and provide the child with help and support to manage their difficulties in a more acceptable way.

When working with, or caring for, children with behaviour that challenges, it is useful to bear in mind the following:

• The age and emotional maturity of the child;
• Challenging or undesirable behaviour should not result in emotional distance between the child and the staff/carer;
• No matter how difficult or challenging a child's behaviour, staff/carers should never resort to similar behaviour;

Children need clear and consistent boundaries and to know what is expected of them.

The key points of supporting behaviour that challenges are:

• Boundaries are discussed with the child and their family/carers so that their views can be considered;
• Staff and carers should be open and honest about any non-negotiable issues, such as smoking on the premises;
• Boundaries need to be realistic and take into consideration the emotional and developmental age of the child and children / young people should be supported to adhere to these boundaries

A child may have disabilities that affect their behaviour, social skills and understanding and so require extra help to be able to behave within acceptable boundaries. Others may be faced with a variety of stresses that are difficult for them to manage without support.

It is imperative that we have realistic expectations of children according to their emotional age and developmental ability. Children, are unlikely to benefit when adults fail to assist them to realise their potential to behave appropriately.

Staff/carers need to be aware that children under pressure can have strong feelings of frustration, distress or anger. Adults can help children to behave in a more socially acceptable manner when they accept and validate children's feelings.

Children who have experienced trauma, as well as some disabled children, may resort to challenging or unpredictable behaviours due to difficulties in making themselves understood. It is important that such behaviour is seen in the context of the child’s circumstances. If there are known trigger factors which appear to impact on how the child/young person behaves then these should be recorded clearly in the care plan and every effort made to avoid such situations happening - such information should be sought from parents, teachers, and college staff or from anyone who has worked with and knows the child well.

4. Dealing with Behaviour that Challenges

Many looked after children have come to view themselves, and may be viewed, as failures. Consequences may have been imposed inconsistently or unfairly or as acts of revenge.

Behavioural management can increase the anxiety of a child who does not trust and does not feel good enough. Carers need to find different ways to support the child/young person whilst reducing the child’s feeling of anxiety. 

You need to attend to the regulation of shame with the child/young person before you will be able to help the child/young person to adjust their behaviour.

Emotional connection allows you to help the child to regulate and this emphasis on connection with correction supports the child to regulate their internal experience meaning this approach is regulation based rather than behaviour based.

Consequences are chosen after efforts have been made to understand the behaviours and you have made every effort to communicate this understanding back to the child with empathy and acceptance of the internal experience. In this way, consequences can be worked out collaboratively rather than applied coercively. Consequences should be logical, linked to the behaviour and developmentally appropriate.

At times, you will need to exercise consequences for presenting behaviours in the home.

If Consequences are exercised, you should apply the following principles:

• Consequences must be the exception, not the rule, a last resort;
• Consequences must not be imposed as acts of revenge or retaliation;
• Consequences should follow a period of connection and regulation and should be collaborative between the child/young person and the care giver. Children should be supported to carry out the consequence;
• You should not use the withdrawal of the relationship as a consequence;
• Following an incident, carers need to take responsibility for relationship repair. Carers will let the child / young person know that the relationship is still there for them following a period of difficulty;
• Carers will then help the child to repair any relationships that have ruptured during the behavioural difficulty. The best consequences also facilitate this repair process.

Foster carer training, support and care planning should provide you with a range of strategies for supporting behaviour that challenges.

Within the Foster Care Agreement signed by you, you have agreed not to use any form of corporal punishment. The term ‘corporal punishment’ should be taken to cover any intentional application of force as punishment including smacking, slapping, pinching, squeezing, shaking, throwing missiles, rough handling and all other humiliating forms of treatment or punishment.

Similarly, restriction of contact visits to and from the birth family and friends must not be used as a consequence, nor withholding receipt or sending of letters or phone calls.

Children and young people must not be stopped from getting in touch with their social worker, Children’s Guardian or Solicitor.

This guidance does not prevent a person taking necessary physical action, where any other course of action would be likely to fail to avert an immediate danger of personal injury to the child or another person, or to avoid immediate danger to property.

5. Calming a Distressed Child/Young Person

At times children can become dysregulated as a result of overwhelming emotions. It is important that you are able to support the child / young person at these times to regulate their emotions through co-regulation. Time-in with a child or young person is a way of emotionally connecting with your child /young person through an attitude of PACE (playfulness, acceptance, curiosity and empathy).With some children, it is sometimes easier to remove yourself from a situation to prevent further escalation. You may just stay close and talk in a calm, safe way allowing your voice to “hold” the child.

Looked After Children should not receive any physical/corporal punishment. The Foster Care Agreement you sign when you became a foster carer says that this is not acceptable. The children you will care for have frequently suffered Sexual, Physical and Emotional abuse. Therefore it is important that you teach children about love and care rather than anger and violence.

6. Searching

You are not permitted to conduct body searches, pat down searches, searches of clothing worn by children or of their bedrooms (unless it has been agreed by the Local Authority Social Worker to complete bedroom checks to ensure a child’s safety).

Should you suspect that a child is carrying or has concealed an item which may place the child or another person at risk, you should try to obtain the item by co-operation/negotiation.

If you suspect that a child is concealing an item which may place themselves or another person at risk, you must notify the Children Always First or, in an emergency, the Police.

7. Serious Incidents and Use of Physical Intervention

If a serious incident such as an accident, violence, assault or damage to property takes place, you should do what is needed to protect children/yourself from immediate harm, and then notify Children Always First immediately.

You should not use any form of Physical Intervention except as a last resort to prevent you or others from being injured or to prevent serious damage to property.

If any form of Physical Intervention is used, it must be the least intrusive to protect the child, you or others.  In addition, your Supervising Social Worker, Team Manager or Out Of Hours (if out of hours) must be notified without delay who will then notify the child’s Social Worker and arrange for a full report to be made of the incident and actions taken.

At no time should you act unless you are confident of managing the situation safely, without escalation or further injury.

You should endeavour to deal with as many as possible of the challenges that are involved in caring for children without the involvement of the Police, who should only be involved if:

• An emergency occurs that requires their immediate involvement to protect the child or others.

Or:

• Following discussion with a your Supervising Social Worker who will consult with their line manager;
• During out of hours, this would need to be discussed with the out of hours social worker who will consult with the out-of-hours manager.

If any serious incident occurs or the Police are called, the child’s social worker and your Supervising Social Worker or Team Manager or Out Of Hours (if incident occurs out of hours) must be notified without delay. You may be asked to provide a full written report of the incident and actions taken.